Some Jokes :D

[paddy]

Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money.

They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash.

Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill. "Here’s that £20 I owe you," he says.

------------

I phoned up a really gorgeous ex-girlfriend of mine the other day. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild nights we used to enjoy together. I couldn't BELIEVE it when she asked if I'd like to meet up and maybe rekindle a little of that magic.

"Wow! I said, I don't know if I could keep pace with you now! I'm a bit older and a bit balder than when you last saw me!" She giggled and said she was sure I'd meet the challenge!

"Yeah," I said, just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistband that's a few inches wider these days!"

She laughed and told me to stop being so silly! She teased me, saying she thought tubby bald men were cute.

"Anyway," she said, "I've put on a couple of pounds myself!"

So I hung up on the fat bitch.


-----------------------


Joe met Suzi in a nightclub. They enjoyed each other's company very much and at the end of the evening Suzi invited Joe to her place, where they quickly got involved in a very passionate and energetic session in bed together.

Finally, tired and satisfied, they both lay back in the bed and snuggled up close to each other. After a short while, Suzi began tenderly stroking Joe's manhood.

Surprised but appreciative, Joe comments, "Surely you can't be ready for more? Suzi replies, "No, but every now and then I get a bit nostalgic, and I miss the days when I had mine."

[johnny_S]

that third one OMG

[Simonutd]

that third one OMG

thats ones quality, lol,

[KeyserSoze]

my bird called me a paedofile the otherday.

..I said what the fu.ck do you know you're only 10

[paddy]

my bird called me a paedofile the otherday.

..I said what the fu.ck do you know you're only 10

Quality, LOL

:roflmao:

[domcassells]

my bird called me a paedofile the otherday.

..I said what the fu.ck do you know you're only 10

thats the best one :LolLolLolLol:

[RedRabbit]

that third one OMG
pure quality, I have to use that one sometime

my bird called me a paedofile the otherday.

..I said what the fu.ck do you know you're only 10

:hahaha:lol, this one has made my day

[paddy]

lol, some more jokes:


Condoleeza Rice came in to Bush's office and said "Sir, 2 Brazilian soldiers died in Iraq today."

George replied, "Holy Jesus this is terrible. How am I ever going to tell the American people about this one?"

She ponders about his strange over-reaction for a minute, then leaves.

George then turns to his secretary and says, "How much is a brazillion?"

----------

A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the husband said, "I bet you can't tell me something which will make me happy and sad at the same time".

The wife thought for a few moments, and then said,

"Your dick's bigger than your brother's"

[Ronaldo]

A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the husband said, "I bet you can't tell me something which will make me happy and sad at the same time".

The wife thought for a few moments, and then said,

"Your dick's bigger than your brother's"

:roflmao: :roflmao: That was quality, I liked the third joke you did, that was funny!