You can browse the forums fully without registering, but when you have registered you will be able to post new messages and reply to all the other messages posted by other members of the forums.

superally · 16-05-2007, 19:32

HEALTH - FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, which means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! . Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO! Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming: "Woo Hoo, what a ride!"

boro_boy · 16-05-2007, 20:37

Nice one, With all those tips I'll hopefully live a long relaxing life!!!

bluenose · 16-05-2007, 22:06

well done Superally

I am nearly there already by your post

superally · 17-05-2007, 05:13

I like the first one!!
Ill takt that advice over a jog anytime..

16-05-2007, 19:32	#1
superally Drunken Admin! Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Little Aston.. I Support: The Queens Eleven! I am 87 years old Posts: 12,973 Nominated 10 Threads TOTW/F/M Award(s): 2 Rep Power: 14	Health Questions answered!! HEALTH - FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap. Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products. Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, which means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up! Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc. Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good! Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! . Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you? Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: Are you crazy? HELLO! Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around! Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me. Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. And remember: Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming: "Woo Hoo, what a ride!" __________________ Celtic FC-Ashamed to be Scottish since 1888.-The Famine is Over-Why Don't You Go Home?! VVV Click The Wee Red Thing VVV Help fight Breast Cancer Click Daily.

16-05-2007, 20:37	#2
boro_boy Administrator Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Middlesbrough I Support: Middlesbrough I am 28 years old Posts: 16,428 Nominated 5 Threads TOTW/F/M Award(s): 3 Rep Power: 10	Nice one, With all those tips I'll hopefully live a long relaxing life!!! __________________ If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done.

16-05-2007, 22:06	#3
bluenose Football Fan Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Near Stirling I Support: Rangers Posts: 200 Nominated 0 Threads TOTW/F/M Award(s): 0 Rep Power: 2	Nice one well done Superally I am nearly there already by your post

17-05-2007, 05:13	#4
superally Drunken Admin! Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Little Aston.. I Support: The Queens Eleven! I am 87 years old Posts: 12,973 Nominated 10 Threads TOTW/F/M Award(s): 2 Rep Power: 14	I like the first one!! Ill takt that advice over a jog anytime.. __________________ Celtic FC-Ashamed to be Scottish since 1888.-The Famine is Over-Why Don't You Go Home?! VVV Click The Wee Red Thing VVV Help fight Breast Cancer Click Daily.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode


[Links Page] [Prediction League] [Rules] [TOTW] [Videos][Meet The Staff] Subscribe in a reader

You are not logged in to the site

You can browse the forums fully without registering, but when you have registered you will be able to post new messages and reply to all the other messages posted by other members of the forums.