The nun

[gb]

A nun gets on a train and sits down. A skinhead is sat opposite eating a bag of prawns. He starts spitting the heads at her. She throws them out the window and pulls the emergency cord.
The skinhead said, “You’ll get find £50 for doing that, you silly cow.”
The nun says, “And when I scream rape and they smell your fingers, you’ll get 10 years, you silly prick.

[Shanks1965]

A man was sitting outside a pub smoking & having a pint when a Nun came up to him & began giving him a lecture on the Evils of drinking.
He said "How can you give me a lecture when you know nothing about drink? You don't even know what it tastes like. Let me get you a swift short & then you can give me the lecture!"
"Oh no I couldn't possibly" said the Nun,
"I'll tell you what, If you have one drink I'll sit here while you lecture me about the Evils of alcohol"said the man.
"Okay" She said "but I'll have to have it in a tea cup as
I can't be seen drinking!"
The man then walked back into the bar and ordered a whisky in a tea cup.
The Barman said "Oh no it's not that Fookin Nun Again is it?"