NHS Direct Calling........

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The phone rings and the lady of the house answers,

"Hello." "Mrs. Leggs, please."
"Speaking"
"Mrs. Leggs, this is Doctor Jones at Selly Oak Hospital . When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Leggs arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good."
"What do you mean?" Mrs. Leggs asks nervously.
"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which."
"That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Leggs.
"Normally we can, but the NHS will only pay for these expensive tests once."
"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"
"The NHS Helpdesk recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him."