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jcasper

the joke thread

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When I read the title and before I saw yours I was going to say -

United under moyes lol

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When I read the title and before I saw yours I was going to say -

United under moyes lol

Correction: Moyes under Utd

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Prehaps I should have posted in the drunk thread first lol

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A guy decides to have a party where his guests come as different emotions – from fear to happiness, and so on.

The first guest shows up covered in green paint with the letters N and V painted on his chest. “What did you come as?” the host asks. “I’m green with envy.” “Wow, that’s brilliant,” says the host. “Come in and have a drink.”

A few minutes later, a woman turns up, covered in a pink body stocking with a feather boa wrapped around her private parts. “Wow, great outfit,” says the host. “And you’ve come as…” “I’m tickled pink!” she says. “Brilliant,” the host replies.

Moments later the doorbell goes again, only this time its two naked Irish blokes at the door. One’s standing with his penis in a bowl of custard while the other’s got his cock suck in a pear. “What the hell are you both doing?” screams the host. “Well, I’m fucking dis custard and he’s come in dis pear!”

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:)nice one si

keep them coming

A guy decides to have a party where his guests come as different emotions – from fear to happiness, and so on.

The first guest shows up covered in green paint with the letters N and V painted on his chest. “What did you come as?” the host asks. “I’m green with envy.” “Wow, that’s brilliant,” says the host. “Come in and have a drink.”

A few minutes later, a woman turns up, covered in a pink body stocking with a feather boa wrapped around her private parts. “Wow, great outfit,” says the host. “And you’ve come as…” “I’m tickled pink!” she says. “Brilliant,” the host replies.

Moments later the doorbell goes again, only this time its two naked Irish blokes at the door. One’s standing with his penis in a bowl of custard while the other’s got his cock suck in a pear. “What the hell are you both doing?” screams the host. “Well, I’m fucking dis custard and he’s come in dis pear!”

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i will try lol, you know me, I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.

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