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Greatest line ever!


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Had a young lass in work today for a little chat about a possible job opportunity.

Now she had an average CV. Abit of experience in kitchens so we talked abit about some of the places where she worked etc. Now one of the places she mentioned I actually knew the head chef as she was a good friend of mine. When I asked Ashley(chef) about kim(young lass) she told me that she cleaned the kitchen 2 hours a day so that kinda struck alarm bells.

Gave her a little basic test in the kitchen, asked her too make a custard which is basically eggs, sugar and cream. Now given get "CV" that shouldnt be a problem.

Too the amazement of my eyes, she cracked open eggs in a bowl, added milk and water and started to whisk .... So  her CV was shit so I just asked her whats her real experience in cooking ... Her reply ... Wait for it!!


"I put the chips in the chip cup"

Say no more!

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Guest Red Devil

I had an apprenticeship that didn't work out in my youth, once I left I had some very unusual interviews for jobs I never actually wanted. One interview for the AA included a telephone sales conversation that required role play and the eventual sale of car insurance to the interviewer, who was sat in another room. 

I basically told her to sling it when she rang through to the phone, I could easily do it but at the time I didn't handle interviews very well and thought it was a bit extreme. 

Then one day I got involved in the concrete floor industry, started out in their office and eventually moved up to the project coordinator. I'm now in charge of interviews for all staff in the office, warehouse and on site. 

Some of the interviews have been insane, I've had a young girl crying during interview as she was scared to death!

Believe or not I employed her and she's now fantastic at her job.

I also had another interview where I guy listed his main talent as being a voice over on the radio!!!!!

He didn't get the job.

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I think i can actually lay claim to the greatest line ever. Was at an armed forces do a few backs, with my mate who is a long serving military man. The place seemed to be overrun with American marines, one of them around 18ft tall and wide said to me, Hey English, I don't any of your great SAS in here now. I looked him square in the eyes and said,--- Well your not supposed to are ya?

He shrunk about 6ft.

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