Jump to content
Hairy Scot

The Joke thread. If you are easily offended do not enter.

Recommended Posts

My girlfriend takes sex far too seriously. I was shagging her from behind the other night, slapping her on the arse screaming, "Who's your daddy, who's your daddy!"

"Fuck off," she snapped. "You know who our daddy is!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A woman goes to her gynaecologist. "What seems to be the problem?" asked the doctor.

"Something is wrong. I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my vagina."

The doctor had a look, chuckled and said, "Those aren't postage stamps. They're stickers off bananas!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

renderTimingPixel.png

A man walks into the doctors with a piece of lettuce hanging out of his anus.
The doctor takes a look and says "God, looks like you've got a problem there."
The patient replies "That's just the tip of the iceberg!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There Are Four Kinds Of People In The UK

The Scots, who keep the Sabbath - and everything else they can lay their hands on.

The Welsh, who pray on their knees - and on their neighbours;

The Irish, who don't know they want - but are willing to die fighting for it anyway;

Lastly, the English, who consider themselves self-made men - thus relieving the Almighty of a terrible responsibility...
 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A little boy arrives home to find his mum and dad having sex on the sofa.
Dad says, "Don't worry, son I'm just filling mummy with petrol."
Son replies, "She doesn't do many miles to the gallon does she dad? Uncle Ernie only filled her up this morning and he used a bigger nozzle!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The missus brought home a tub of ice cream and asked if I wanted some.

"How hard is it?" I asked.

She cheekily replied, "As hard as your knob when you're thinking about me naked."

I said, "Ok, pour me a glass!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Forum Statistics

    3,822
    Total Topics
    37,170
    Total Posts
  • Member Statistics

    412
    Total Members
    3,654
    Most Online
    PhilK
    Newest Member
    PhilK
    Joined


My Football Forum

Nearing 20 years old, My Football Forum was Established in March 2002 making us one of the original football forums. For years fans have been discussing the great game we love!

Your Links Here

This is an example of a list.

Your Link and Description Here

Email My Football Forum if your interested in having your website promoted here

Your Link and Description Here

Email My Football Forum if your interested in having your website promoted here

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.