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The New Joke Thread,if You Are Easily offended,Tough Shit

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Saint Peter was manning the Pearly Gates one morning when forty people from Liverpool showed up. Never having seen anyone from Liverpool at heaven's door, Saint Peter said he would have to check with God. After hearing the news, God instructed him to admit the ten most virtuous people from the group. A few minutes later, Saint Peter returned to God breathless and said, "They're gone!" "What? All of them are gone?" asked God. "No!" replied Saint Peter. "The Pearly Gates!"

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a dyslexic women goes to the doctors and says doc i keep forgetting to take my contradictive pill. he says you keep forgetting what?? she says i keep forgetting my contradictive pill. he says sorry ma

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1 minute ago, Normski said:

A man goes to the doctor. "Doctor, I've got a problem with my sex-life." doctor says what's exactly the problem ?" man replies "well doctor, it's like this. I make love to my wife every morning before we get up and If I have time, we do it again before I leave for work. As soon as I arrive, I tear my secretary's clothes off and we set to in my office. At lunch I pop out and see my mistress, and we make love until I have to go back to the office, where my secretary is waiting, naked. After an end of the day blowjob from the receptionist I head home, where my wife is waiting to show me the lingerie she has bought to help tempt me into the evening of passion that awaits me"

Doctor says ," I'm perplexed ,just exactly what is your problem ?"
"Well," says the man, "it hurts when I wank."

laughed out loud at that one.....

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