The New Joke Thread,if You Are Easily offended,Tough Shit

[Normski 3,298]

Liverpool police stopped a car & were amazed to find it taxed, full MOT & insured. It wasn't stolen, there were no stolen goods or drugs. The driver was sober & had a full clean licence...
 
A police spokesman said, "We had no option but to fine him £80 for wasting police time!"

[Normski 3,298]

[Normski 3,298]

[Normski 3,298]

I asked a prostitute who had no fingers for a handjob, but she just palmed me off!

[Normski 3,298]

My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the 'telephone' he had just made from a string and two tin cans...

I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but look at what kids your age make in China!"

[boro_boy 2,374]

 

[Normski 3,298]

[boro_boy 2,374]

 

 

[UNIQUE 1,411]

Man was sitting in the pub with his dog watching the Liverpool v Burnley game and after losing 1-0 at the final whistle the dog starts going mad trying to bite people the barman says what's up with that dog mate. He says Liverpool just lost at home for the first time in 4 years. Barman says what does he do when Liverpool win. He said I don't know I got the dog for Christmas. 🤣

[Harold 7,340]

1 hour ago, UNIQUE said:

Man was sitting in the pub with his dog watching the Liverpool v Burnley game and after losing 1-0 at the final whistle the dog starts going mad trying to bite people the barman says what's up with that dog mate. He says Liverpool just lost at home for the first time in 4 years. Barman says what does he do when Liverpool win. He said I don't know I got the dog for Christmas. 🤣

think Bastion put that up in the Utd v Liverpool thread mate.

[Bastion 3,574]

54 minutes ago, Harold said:

think Bastion put that up in the Utd v Liverpool thread mate.

He's avoiding that thread like the plague......

[UNIQUE 1,411]

2 hours ago, Harold said:

think Bastion put that up in the Utd v Liverpool thread mate.

delete this one then if you want

[UNIQUE 1,411]

2 hours ago, Harold said:

think Bastion put that up in the Utd v Liverpool thread mate.

tbh i gave up with the football related threads. i dont care about football enough that i can watch page after page of people talking crap. i would rather just go on the chit chat threads tbh. 😃

[Harold 7,340]

14 minutes ago, UNIQUE said:

i would rather just go on the chit chat threads tbh. 😃

and watch people talking crap there ?...lol

[UNIQUE 1,411]

14 minutes ago, Harold said:

and watch people talking crap there ?...lol

yeah but its fun 🤣

[UNIQUE 1,411]

[UNIQUE 1,411]

[boro_boy 2,374]

 

[UNIQUE 1,411]

paddy gets arrested for beating his wife and the judge say can you please tell the court why you always beat your wife paddy? he said i think its my weight advantage longer reach and superior footwork. 

[UNIQUE 1,411]

[Harold 7,340]