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Health Check's.


superally

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After having my bloods taken last week, I had the follow up today, the nurse asked me a few questions which i answered totally honestly,(drugs alcohol smoking diet etc etc) I had a good rapport with the nurse and shared a bit of a laugh. When it got down to it i asked, well what do you reckon then? She put her hand on her head looked me straight in the eye and replied, " you are gonna die soon".

My immediate thought now is should i become a ceptic or villa fan, so if i do die that will be 1 less of the bastards.

Seriously tho i am not gonna change my way of life, I enjoy everyday, and live it like it's gonna be my last.

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10 hours ago, The Realist said:

After having my bloods taken last week, I had the follow up today, the nurse asked me a few questions which i answered totally honestly

In the past when I have had similar tests done I always did the same as yourself and answered honestly. However in the past few years when I have been seen by the nurse I have not told any untruths but I explain clearly to them that, apart from the facts that I drink and smoke, I refuse to divulge any further information regards amount because that information is noted and processed until it arrives at a final destination and used as data by the Scottish Executive for its own means in order to tax the population under the guise of 'helping with our health', minimum unit pricing and doing away with two for one deals on certain foods being two instances.....

https://www.pressreader.com/uk/scottish-daily-mail/20181003/281479277354961

Now when you consider that the Scottish Executive is to publicly fund drug shooting galleries and supply addicts with free heroin I find this totally disgusting that they pander to the dregs of society but tax people, the majority of whom are responsible drinkers, on what they drink ? It is called state control.

https://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/news/scottish-news/4990887/glasgow-drugs-nhs-heroin-addicts/

 

 

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10 hours ago, The Realist said:

After having my bloods taken last week, I had the follow up today, the nurse asked me a few questions which i answered totally honestly,(drugs alcohol smoking diet etc etc) I had a good rapport with the nurse and shared a bit of a laugh. When it got down to it i asked, well what do you reckon then? She put her hand on her head looked me straight in the eye and replied, " you are gonna die soon".

My immediate thought now is should i become a ceptic or villa fan, so if i do die that will be 1 less of the bastards.

Seriously tho i am not gonna change my way of life, I enjoy everyday, and live it like it's gonna be my last.

Fuck! I was getting really excited at one point there matey! :founoel::founoel::founoel:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just kidding....I am glad you are going to be around a bit longer. :chuckling-gesture-smiley-emoticon:

Edited by Mr Magnificent
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12 hours ago, The Realist said:

After having my bloods taken last week, I had the follow up today, the nurse asked me a few questions which i answered totally honestly,(drugs alcohol smoking diet etc etc) I had a good rapport with the nurse and shared a bit of a laugh. When it got down to it i asked, well what do you reckon then? She put her hand on her head looked me straight in the eye and replied, " you are gonna die soon".

My immediate thought now is should i become a ceptic or villa fan, so if i do die that will be 1 less of the bastards.

Seriously tho i am not gonna change my way of life, I enjoy everyday, and live it like it's gonna be my last.

your still on here giving it big licks i see , aye the tests get a bit boring  blood for this and that  but i got to admit that lot have kept me ticking along as they say :t0330:

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On 18/12/2019 at 11:20, fatpipe said:

your still on here giving it big licks i see , aye the tests get a bit boring  blood for this and that  but i got to admit that lot have kept me ticking along as they say :t0330:

Had a call from the surgery today regarding these results, the doctor want's to speak to me, so i got to go in on Friday, why the feck couldn't this have been done when i was there last week?

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9 hours ago, The Realist said:

Had a call from the surgery today regarding these results, the doctor want's to speak to me, so i got to go in on Friday, why the feck couldn't this have been done when i was there last week?

More than likely there is a problem then.

Possibly high cholesterol or sugar? 

Usually the Dr gets involved if they want to start medication of some sort. 

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On ‎24‎/‎12‎/‎2019 at 22:10, The Realist said:

Had a call from the surgery today regarding these results, the doctor want's to speak to me, so i got to go in on Friday, why the feck couldn't this have been done when i was there last week?

aye you have to wonder sometimes  I think they don't like seeing me when I go into the hospital now as I am a right inquisitive fucker that asks loads of questions

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Last health check the doctor asks me a few questions :

Do you smoke?
Answer Yes;
How many a day?
Honest answer, between 10 and 30.
I can see he writes down on my medical card cigarettes +++

Next question, what about alcohol?
Honest answer, 5 or 6 beers during the day then a few whisky's in the evening.
I can see he writes down on my medical card alcohol +++

He then asks me if i participate in any physical activity such as jogging, cycling etc;
Honest answer, no.
I can see he writes down on my medical card sport ---

Next question, do you participate sexually with your spouse? (nosey bastard).
Honest answer, yes as much as she can handle.

I can see he writes down on my medical card sex +++

His diagnosis was that i'm an oversexed alcoholic suffering from tabagism with a repuslion to physical excercice (apart from sex that is) and that if i didn't control my way of life i was for an early grave.

I answered that i didn't give a fuck, walked out of his surgery, lit up a fag, walked into the local had a couple of pints with the lads, went home where the missus was waiting for me and we shagged for 2 hours.

Life is good so make the best of it :beer:

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On 25/12/2019 at 11:10, The Realist said:

Had a call from the surgery today regarding these results, the doctor want's to speak to me, so i got to go in on Friday, why the feck couldn't this have been done when i was there last week?

Blood tests and urine tests have to be done by a lab so it's normally a couple of days later that the doc gets the results.

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An 80 year old half blind and deaf man goes for his yearly medical check up, his loving wife of sixty years supports him.
After the blood pressure, temperature and electrocardiogram taken by the nurse the doctor invites the old couple into his surgery.

Well say's the doctor to the old man after looking at the results, to have a good idee on your state of health i need to have the results of a certain number of analysis.

I need a stool sample, a urine sample and a sperm sample.
The old man leans over to his wife covering his ear and asks loudly, what does he want?

He wants your underpants.

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