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Tae a Virus (apologies tae Robert Burns)


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TAE A VIRUS

Twa months ago we didna ken
Yer name or ocht aboot ye
But lots o things have changed since then
I really must salute ye!

Yer spreading rate is quite intense,
Yer feeding like a gannet
Disruption caused is so immense
Ye've shaken oor wee planet.

Corona used tae be a beer,
They garnished it wae limes
But noo it's filled us aw wae fear
These days are scary times.

Nae shaking hawns, or peckin lips,
It's whit they aw advise
But scrub them weel, richt tae the tips,
That's how we'll aw survive.

Just stay inside the hoose ye bide
Nae sneakin oot for strolls
Just check the lavvy every oor
And stock-take your loo rolls.

Oor holidays have been pit aff
Noo that's the Jet2 patter
Pit oan yer thermals, have a laugh
And paddle 'doon the waater'.

Canary Isles, no for a while
Nae need for suntan cream
And aw because o this wee bug
We ken tae be . . . 19.

The boredom surely will set in,
But have a read or doodle
Or plan yer menu for the month
Wi 95 pot noodles.

When these run oot, just look aboot
A change, it would be nice
We've beans and pasta by the ton
And twenty stane o rice.

So dinny think ye'll wipe us oot
Aye true, a few have died
Bubonic, bird flu, and TB
They came, they left, they tried.

Ye might be gallus noo ma freen
As ye jump fae cup tae cup
But when we get oor vaccine made
Yer number will be up.
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On 07/04/2020 at 03:26, Hairy Scot said:
TAE A VIRUS

Twa months ago we didna ken
Yer name or ocht aboot ye
But lots o things have changed since then
I really must salute ye!

Yer spreading rate is quite intense,
Yer feeding like a gannet
Disruption caused is so immense
Ye've shaken oor wee planet.

Corona used tae be a beer,
They garnished it wae limes
But noo it's filled us aw wae fear
These days are scary times.

Nae shaking hawns, or peckin lips,
It's whit they aw advise
But scrub them weel, richt tae the tips,
That's how we'll aw survive.

Just stay inside the hoose ye bide
Nae sneakin oot for strolls
Just check the lavvy every oor
And stock-take your loo rolls.

Oor holidays have been pit aff
Noo that's the Jet2 patter
Pit oan yer thermals, have a laugh
And paddle 'doon the waater'.

Canary Isles, no for a while
Nae need for suntan cream
And aw because o this wee bug
We ken tae be . . . 19.

The boredom surely will set in,
But have a read or doodle
Or plan yer menu for the month
Wi 95 pot noodles.

When these run oot, just look aboot
A change, it would be nice
We've beans and pasta by the ton
And twenty stane o rice.

So dinny think ye'll wipe us oot
Aye true, a few have died
Bubonic, bird flu, and TB
They came, they left, they tried.

Ye might be gallus noo ma freen
As ye jump fae cup tae cup
But when we get oor vaccine made
Yer number will be up.

That Hairy is a masterpiece 10 out of 10 my man :beer:

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Just now, Harold said:

A quickie....

There was a virus from China

That they fucked over here....well kinda

It made you have a bad cough

and made you feel off

so fuck all your filthy eating in China!

 

Ah thank ya....

Hairy will be appalled......

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