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One Liners From Chubby Brown!!!


boro_boy

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  • My mother used to get up really early so she could hate my father a lot longer. Mam said: “If you see blood on the chainsaw, make your own tea.” She was always looking for a loophole in the marriage licence.
  • The only machine l love at the gym is the one with crisps, chocolate bars and tins of Cola in it.
  • l must have the smallest spiders in Britain - I spotted a daddy short legs this morning.
  • I was just thinking - if we evolved from apes, how come we are here, and we still have apes?
  • I don’t believe in Santa Claus - not since the one in Debenhams asked me for an autograph.
  • l came from humble beginnings - our house was that damp, we caught a fish in a mouse trap.
  • You can tell it’s June - the next door neighbour’s brought the snow shovel back and borrowed the lawn mower.
  • We had nowt! Mother looked threadbare - l’ve seen a better dressed crab.
  • I walked past the candle factory on Saturday - it was on fire and all the staff were outside singing Happy Birthday To You.
  • One night dad nearly frightened us all to death - he came home dressed as a job! Lazy ****. He said: “I’m going places now kids”. I said: “Dad. I’ve seen more miracles with Smokey Robinson”.
  •  I got a parking ticket, but I couldn’t understand the sign - it said “fine for parking here”.
  • l went to a taxi driver’s funeral once. It was the first time he’d taken the shortest way to the cemetery.
  • l notice the guy who discovered asprin had died. He wanted to be buried in an open casket but they couldn’t twist the lid off the coffin.

He's doing a live gig where you can watch for £7.50 and most the the money goes to charity!

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Guest Red Devil

I'd pay him not to gig anymore, he's so 80's and 90's he actually makes me cringe now days. 

The minge jokes were funny when I was 16 but now it just sounds pathetic. 

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Yeah I don't think he's that funny but now and again he make me laugh, i'd never go to see him I don't think anyway!  I used to like him back in the day, in the 90's, I'd watch him with the family on VHS haha. He's not funny now, I just seen his one liners on my loca paper so just posted them in here. 

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Guest Red Devil
1 minute ago, boro_boy said:

Yeah I don't think he's that funny but now and again he make me laugh, i'd never go to see him I don't think anyway!  I used to like him back in the day, in the 90's, I'd watch him with the family on VHS haha. He's not funny now, I just seen his one liners on my loca paper so just posted them in here. 

He's from your way isn't he. Didn't he used to get members of the audience that pissed off he got attacked a couple of times I think I've heard. 

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1 minute ago, Red Devil said:

He's from your way isn't he. Didn't he used to get members of the audience that pissed off he got attacked a couple of times I think I've heard. 

Yeah he's from Boro, not sure about that haha, I've only watched a couple of his shows! Not a massive fan. 

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